The Mama Journal | Bebe Makes Four

On February 8th at 3:01am, we welcomed our sweet Naia Rose into our lives, and our hearts just about exploded with love.

I keep catching myself hitting the imaginary pause button in my head and just taking it all in. I am a mother of two beautiful girls - how did i get so lucky?

Neve, with her silky blonde hair that curls at the bottom, giant inquisitive blue eyes, and bursting with creativity, joy and kindness. Her determination and passion both exasperate and inspire me. Her compassionate and generous heart is forever teaching me to love more deeply and give more freely. She is my treasure, my little assistant, the one with whom I have shared everything - from picnics to household chores - with for the last 3 1/2 years.

In the last three weeks she has shown so much love and sweetness towards her new baby sister, rocking her in her arms and singing made-up lullabies, helping with every diaper change and outfit change, rushing to her side at the sound of every cry, calling out to every classmate at nursery school: "Look at my baby! Isn't she cute?"

Her entire world has been rocked, and while she's definitely had her moments of extra sensitivity and out-of-character boundary pushing in the last three weeks, her little heart has opened up big to welcome her sister, and it has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. (#hormones)

Then there's this sweet little peach. Little Naia, born after an intense whirlwind labour at 7lbs 5oz of perfect sweetness, looking so much like her sister. Cheeks so soft, a button nose so sweet and rosy lips so perfect I just want to kiss them constantly. It's amazing how natural it has felt to slip back into mothering a newborn. Every night I sit in bed nursing my warm little bundle, stroking her little head, thinking to myself how crazy and wonderful it is to be back in this place. I already love her so much. She holds such a big piece of my heart, and I am soaking up this season of having her so close to me, of being so in-sych with her every need.

She's only been in our arms for three weeks, but it's hard to image life without her. Sometimes I'll catch myself talking about "the girls" in conversation with David and I can't help but smile because it still feels so new and special to have this expression be a part of our lives now. Girls. Plural. We should travel here when the girls are older. The girls would have so much fun doing this. Can you keep an eye on the girls? 

Life is starting to feel normal again. A new normal. A sweeter normal. Sure, that new normal is a little bit more chaotic and complicated. Let's be real... it involves less sleep and more responsibilities and requires me to meet the physical needs of an infant while nurturing the emotional needs of a three-year-old. It involves me getting up to soothe big sister's fever at 3am a mere 5 minutes after nursing and settling the little one. It involves me holding a kleenex in each hand and simultaneously wiping a runny nose and catching baby spit-up. It involves me trying to dress this awkward post-baby body and struggling to occasionally apply a bit of makeup so that I can feel semi-presentable some of the time. But all of those real ups and downs of motherhood are just part of this very rich and worthwhile journey. Because most of all, this new normal finds me filled to the brim with so much love and gratitude for this incredible gift that I've been given. Two beautiful girls to call me 'maman'.